Blessings in Disguise, Maybe?

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala Berfirman:

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia baik bagimu" (Al-Baqarah, 216)
"Baramgkali kamu tidak menyukai sesuatu, padahal Allah menjadikan padanya kebaikan yang banyak" (An-Nisa, 19)

I've been very fragile lately, crying a lot, everytime I think about my unfinished job, which I tend to procrastinate and in the end put me in problems. It's nearing the D-Day.

I just realize that my mind has a very bad habit, shutting down the whole unit of my body when I faced or given with the job or things I hate.

I know, as a human being, as a muslim, responsibility is a very IMPORTANT thing that you MUST do whatever it takes. It is sinful to just do it idle-ly, or to ignore it completely.

I feel myself changing to a different "me". Ermm, how can I put this in words? Aish, nevermind.

I feel a bit disappointed too tho. The friend that I put hope to see this holiday, perhaps, don't even remember about me. She's hoping for her best-friend to come back after final exams, not me. *I saw it in Facebook*

For some time, I'm thinking, is it me or them, that have problem? Maybe it's me, I guess.

My positive energy has drained out, I can't help but to think pessimistically.

I'm sorry for this negative post. I'm sorry :'(

But, still,  I hope there's blessings in disguise for this part of my life. I will never take any responsibilities that me myself cannot cope up. I wanna live my life in my own way. In Shaa Allah.